I’m truly scared.

17Sep06

I got back together with my girl friend again. Oh the vicious cycle of breaking up and getting back together again. I was kinda tired of all that. After about a day we got back together again she asks me the question of marrying. First she tells me that her mother has found a real cute guy for her to marry and tells me it’s better if I find a little girl that fits me in a joking voice. So I asked whether she’s going to marry that guy and she’s kinda get mad about that. Asked me if I was crazy and asked me whether I’m gonna marry her or not. We’ve been joking about this whole thing in the past. I asked her whether she’s gonna marry me in a joking sorta way and she has done the same. Now suddenly it’s not a joke anymore.

I told her that I cannot get married right now for numerous reasons. Firstly I don’t have a stable job. Secondly I’m not finished with my education. Thirdly I’m too young to be getting married. The optimum time I have in mind to get married is 30. Anything below that is not gonna fit right. One manager at my work place always says to get married at or after 30. She doesn’t advice anyone to get married at a younger age because of responsibilites. Her main argument is that you doesn’t have to get involved in all of these responsibilites early in life. She tell us to enjoy life. Which is quite true IMHO. Infact that’s what my parents advice me to do too.

Anyways I haven’t thought about me getting married seriously. Today I did and it scared me. Why? May be the fact that I’m still too young to be getting married. I have friends of mine who’s in my age who are married with kids. But my gut feeling tells me not to get married early in life. There’s so much of stuff to do before thinking of a marriage.

For girls of course it’s quite the opposite. Most of them are getting married in their early or mid twenties, at least in this part of the world. So when you start a relationship with a girl who’s same as your age, you have a big problem. And it is happening to me. You’re in the middle of an awful situation where the girl and her parents insist that she gets married quickly where as you, the guy, want to stall until the time is right. Or until he’s financially capable of managing a family or whatever…

Then there’s the problem of getting engaged and marrying later. That’s a problem too. What if she’s not the right girl? There’s a lot going on in my mind right now. But one thing is certain though I’m not even going to think about a marriage before I finish my education. If her parents want to give her to another man so be it. One thing we have in this part of the world is that parents have a lot of leverage in their children’s lives even when they’re grown up adults. There’s always the option of not obeying but that’s the meanest thing one can do to someone who held you nearly 8+ months, feed you and literally made the man who you’re today. So that’s out of the question. Probably you now have a good idea about where I live.

Probably it’s going to boil down to an engage first and then a late marriage. If that’s the case… hm… I think I can figure something out when it comes to that. I’ll not get into any assumptions at this stage.

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One Response to “I’m truly scared.”

  1. 1 merya

    maybe the woman ur dating wants a serious ending?If u are just in a small relationship(to you)then think about the one who you are wasting her time.tick tock to her you know


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