Is it the end?

05Oct06

In the past couple of weeks I got back to gether with my girl friend as the previous post described and we fought and broke up again. I haven’t spoken to her in 3 or 4 days now. Not a single word. We had a stupid fight and that’s it. This nonsense needs to end. I got to get my fucking thoughts straight. For the love of god, what the fuck am I doing all this time? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself all this past 3 or 4 days. I need strength to stop this stupid behaviour of mine and get on with life. The problem here is that I feel so sorry for her when she starts talking about the good times we had and tells me to forget the past and start over. That’s been the case all this time.

I think I have to develop a mind that’s not too sensitive to these matters. Thinking objectively about it, I feel that this should’ve ended a long time ago and I should’ve said no to her all this time after about the 5th break up. What’s gone is gone, you cannot change the past. What you can do is get experience from it and build a better future. This time I’m determined than ever. I know what I have to do. This time I’m not gonna mess my life because of her.

So, this will mark the end of my first love. It was like a wild rollercoaster ride (thank god real life rollercoasters are not like that). There I mark a milestone in my life. I’m getting old. That might sound a bit funny to some of you, but that’s okay. I can get credit for make someone smile.

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